Has been almost a week since I've posted and to be honest, azoospermia (Official name for zero sperm count) hasn't been mentioned since then. We've had our cry. No more wallowing in self pity for us!
Though during the rare quiet moments this week, I've been thinking about the injustice of it all. I couldn't help but briefly ponder over 'why us'. We're good people you know? In fact, Dave is the most virtuous person I know! We make great parents and we can (and do) provide more than just the bare necessities. I answered a question that was posted in a forum back in March - What does being a good parent mean to you?
Offering my child guidance, stability, consistency, discipline, encouragement and support. Gaining my child's love, trust and respect. Teaching him kindness, responsibility, loyalty and honesty. Being a good role model. Ensuring he eats well and sleeps well. Allowing him learning opportunities.
And of course, love - which is so easy.
I didn't post that to prove myself as a parent or to portray that we're perfect parents because there are moments when we barely have a grip on this parenting thing! For the most part we're doing okay, and our Mr 3 is a testament to that. I really love my life, can many people say that? I have a lot to be thankful for. I have wonderful partner and child, tight knit family and a house that we are turning into a home. I have a future with so many options and I am privileged to be able to stay at home with my son if I so please. The pessimist in me thinks that when things are good *something* bad has to happen. But this, this isn't so bad. We are still pretty damn lucky. Yay for the optimist!
I just needed to remind myself that our struggle to have another child isn't a reflection on us or our parenting - It's just that shit happens.
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